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Insignificantly Significant

Hirji, Karim F.

doi: 10.1097/01.ede.0000147165.39368.5e
Poetry and Epidemiology

With copious medical research do engender

An expansive data mine on a computer

Deploy then an adept statistical decoder

May your august hypothesis prosper

Bother is, the vaunted p-value

Attains undisputed significance

Only if its actual numeric value

Shows quantitative insignificance

For the noble hypothesis to advance

0.05 is the strict standard bar

And to attain professional prominence

The miniscule 0.01 is preferred by far

If unlucky then by happenstance

Rely wisely on laws of chance

For an adroit analytic stance

Often divulges secret significance

In that patently propitious instance

Add the fine intervals of confidence

Astutely theorize clinical relevance

With a pageful of erudite reference

Because that comely, petite p-value

Though plausibly dubious in science

Has a potent publication value

To clinch a promotion in abeyance

Practice well then that modern research art

To make insignificance into significance

That you may also play your due part

To convert significance into insignificance

— Karim F. Hirji

© 2005 Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, Inc.