doi: 10.1097/ALN.0b013e318212ba75
Education: Mind to Mind

Final Diagnosis

Hester, Douglas L. M.D.*

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SO it's official, the freezer has a problem. It took six weeks, multiple appliance specialists and too much testing, but they did prove
my ice cream is not cold enough.
I thaw the taciturn repairman in six seconds.
What do you do, he asks.
I'm a physician, I say.
They gave me six months to live, but I know I was being killed by the medicines.
Thirty years later, I can tell you the secret of health is supplements
and energy patterns
and the secret is within us – the patients
and doctors are dangerous.
I wonder what specialists touched him
and what tests were done
and how much time he spent without a diagnosis.
I work to reframe the discussion, hoping his discarded drill doesn't mar the granite.
I'm not religious anymore, but the power is within to heal
and the deity is within all of us
and gives us that power to heal
and the deity has forgotten.
Our minds make us ill, that and food coloring.
So worldviews collide.
Models of medicine clash in the kitchen.
Health care reform isn't reform, it's refinancing.
Ending education at 5th grade
and legalizing marijuana and heroin will do more than
this reform
and euthanasia benefits us more than anatomy class.
I liked anatomy, but tonight I learned the secret. The problem is in the freezer's mind
and the freezer is an extension of the deity
and the deity has forgotten
about my ice cream.

© 2012 American Society of Anesthesiologists, Inc.

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